How To Blow Up An Egg

dying.

(Source: britneys-unicorn)

my little brother plays in the bathtub water when he gets out of the shower….wtf.

ieropercent:

omg

this is perfect.

(Source: awkwardgleek)

oh, hey there chick. 
just so you know, you’re huge fake boobs are kind of falling out of that size MEDIUM bikini top you’re wearing. I can see you’re nipples.  

(Source: inlovewithasuperstar)

oh, yeah Insomnia is the best.

I decided to take my sleeping pills at 11:30. knowing that they would kick in in about an hour. so, I took them and then pretty much instantly went and laid in bed. I didn’t fall asleep until after one (only because my iPod had said like, “1:15 AM” before I locked it). and then, my brain and body decided that that was enough. and I woke up at 4:30 AM. 
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!??!!?

I get in trouble for sleeping all day. and why do I sleep all day mom and dad? well, because I WAKE UP THREE HOURS AFTER FALLING ASLEEP! This is not fucking normal. does no one seem to know that there is osmething wrong with me? I mean, I know I have insomnia but I take medicine for this shit it should keep this from happening. 

(Source: welcometo-tortuga)

(Source: voluntarilydifferent)

at work, we have a book entitled “Hot Men and Baby Animals.” of course, I wanted to look at this book.
I don’t think I even remember any of the “men.” hahaha. I saw a puppy and was like, “AWWWWH! PUUPPPPYYY” and then a kitten and squealed. where are my priorities? BABY ANIMALS »> MEN. :D

cat is barking…then gets caught and meows instead. WTF.